Akatsuki's Gender Crisis
by Pvt. Prinny
Summary: So Akatsuki were just out killing for fun. Then, next morning: Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Sasori, Tobi, Zetsu, Hidan, and Kakuzu awake to find themselves as...you guessed it...women! And Leader is being somesort of pimp, recruiting sexy women for an army.
1. The story unfolds

**Hehe...I felt inspired after watching this show and decided to make this. If your an Akatsuki lover, beware. They are going to suffer. Hahahaha.**

**I have nothing against Akatsuki, just felt like writing this.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

Screams of her comrades were heard as the young kunoichi ran through the forest. She tripped on a vine that appeared out of nowhere and fell on the ground. Kikima was on a mission when the entire Akatsuki gang jumped them for the hell of it. Zetsu started to emerge from the ground, staring at her. Soon, the rest of the gang appeared. Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu walked out of some bushes. Deidara, Sasori, and Tobi jumped from the air from a clay bird. Kikima was surrounded, death was her fate. In her final breath, she quickly performed handseals.

"Curse Of The Tragic Kunoichi Technique!"

A black fog surrounded all the members and entered their ears, nose, and mouth. Nothing seemed to happen as it disappeared.

"Is that all you can do, un?"

Kikima smiled, "You'll see…" she grabbed a kunai and pierced her heart, killing herself.

"What a fool." Kakuzu stated, "That was a shitty way to end a hunt."

"Whatever she did, it doesn't seem to be working." Hidan said.

"…so it seems…" Itachi said, "Anyway…Zetsu, do your part."

Zetsu turned towards him, the dark side talking, "With pleasure." He said as he started to eat the corpse.

"Now let's go home," Kisame said, "I need to feed my fish."

"Your fish!? You've only got one goldfish, and it's dead." Sasori said in a raised voice.

"But…it swims and-"

"Because I'm using it as a puppet so you wouldn't cry about it, like your last fish."

Tobi looked at Deidara, "Senpai, won't people come after us?"

"Good point, yeah. You two can finish your argument when we return to base."

"Fine." Kisame and Sasori said at the same time.

Deidara made a large, clay bird that was able to carry them all back to base. Sasori finished his argument with Kisame bay showing him the fish.

* * *

"See how it moves?" Sasori asked. Kisame nodded. Sasori pulled his hand away, cutting the chakra strings on it. The fish floated up to the surface upside-down. "See. It died, so I turned it into a puppet and animated it so you wouldn't get upset." 

"You didn't have to do that. He had cancer, so I knew he was going to die."

Sasori had a vein appear on his head when he said that, but he suppressed his anger.

"Well, good night Kisame."

"Good night Sasori."

* * *

.:Next Mourning:. 

Itachi rolls in his bed, violently. He wakes up in his room and sits up.

"Ugh…why do I feel like cra-"

He stopped and noticed something awkward. His voice was higher, a girl's pitch voice. He ran to his bathroom and looked at himself in a mirror.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF AMASTERU IS GOING ON!?" Itachi yelled.

* * *

Kisame wakes up and gets out of bed to feed the other fish he has. He looked at his reflection in the water and said, 

"Hmn…who's this? And why is my voice different?"

He looked at the reflection in disbelief and moved and arm, the reflection did the same. He soon saw the reflection had shark-like gills like him. His eyes went wide.

* * *

Hidan and Kakuzu woke up to the same thing. 

"Hidan…you look…different."

"So do you. Plus, we sound different."

* * *

Deidara awoke from hearing Sasori give out a high-pitched scream. He got out of bed and saw a change of appearance in not only Sasori, but himself as well. 

"Oh shit…" They both said.

* * *

Zetsu was waking up, he and his split side started to talk. 

"This flytrap feels lighter than usual."

"Yeah. Um, you may want to look in a mirror."

Zetsu looked, and was not a happy flower when he saw himself.

* * *

Tobi awoke, feeling great. He looked in the mirror.

"Hello super hot bishie. Who are you?"

When he noticed that she was wearing his mask, he found out he was looking at himself.

"Oh, fuck no."


	2. Good morning ladies

**Itachi: You asshole!**

**Me: What?**

**Zetsu: You turned us into girls, that's what!**

**Me: Except for Leader.**

**Deidara: Shit...**

**Leader: JOIN MY ARMY OF SEXY GIRLS!!!**

**All(except for me): Runaway!**

**Me: Join our army fellow readers. We have girls. Some are Neko girls. XD**

**Anyway, I do not own Naruto. Enjoy.**

* * *

Itachi was looking at his new body in the mirror. 

"…this body lacks hatred…"

Indeed it did. He had noticeable curves and also had normal sized breasts. His hair was still in the usual ponytail, but slightly longer. His Sharingan eyes were now onyx colored. He tries to activate them, but nothing happens.

"This is bad. What if Sasuke finds me? I'll be powerless. Then he'll..."

(Flashback)

_Sasuke was wearing a shirt with the Uchiha symbol on it, but the handle of the 'fan' was tuned into an arrow. Itachi saw it for the first time in his last encounter with him._

_"Sasuke. Are you high?"_

_"No, I'm going to kill you and revieve my clan!"_

_"Even if it means getting AIDS?"_

_Sasuke, not knowing what AIDS were said, "Hell yeah! Then I'll be as strong as you and have slept with more girls."_

_Itachi held in laughter at his brother's stupidity. Then Sakura walked by._

_"Well, fuck off for now, brother. I've got better things to do." Sasuke said, running towards Sakura._

_Itachi then heard rape noises behind a bush._

_"NO, Sasuke! I don't want to do it with an EMO!"_

_"Shut up, bitch."_

(End Flashback)

"He'll rape me after he beat the shit out of me!"

* * *

Kisame was creeping through the halls, hoping noone would see him. He bumped into someone, Zetsu to be exact. 

"Hey! Watch where your-HOLY SHIT! Zetsu!"

Zetsu's new look was a noticeable one. His curves were noticeable, but his breasts slightly larger than Itachi's. He still had the black and white body paint on him, and his hair was in two, long, green pig tails(Sexy Jutsu Naruto style to be exact). But the most noticeable thing was his new plant growing on him. It changed from a venus flytrap, into a purple and red flower with petals.

"Kisame? Is that you?" Zetsu asked, in his new girl voice.

Kisame had shoulder length hair, a navy blue in color, with a bang that hung on the left side of his face. His body was the same shape as Zetsu's, only his skin was still blue and still had his shark gills.

"Yeah." He said with an annoyed face.

"Thank goodness. Hey, where's your sword?"

"In my room. I can't lift it anymore."

"Man, sucks to be you when you have a sword you can't use."

This made Kisame slightly irritated.

"Shut the hell up!"

* * *

.:Meanwhile:. 

Hidan and Kakuzu were trying to find something to wear that wasn't loose.

"Dammit! All my clothes are too big!" Hidan shouted.

They were, for Hidan's new body is slimmer than his old one. His hair was at shoulder length, but it laid on his head in the same fashion as before. All of his robes, fishnet shirts, and any other kind of clothing were so big, they fell right to the ground. Kakuzu on the other hand was not as upset.

"Well, seems as if your 'God' was against you this time." Kakuzu chuckled.

Kakuzu's body was just as slim as before, just with women curves, so all of his clothes still fit him. He still kept the rag/headband thing on his head, however, some black hair hung out of it down to the middle of his neck. But one thing that changed was that he no longer had stitches on his body.

"Kakuzu, you know that I hate it when you bring my religion into matters."

"Well all you ever talk about is religion. You even suggested a religion based Theme Park."

"Hey! It would be a kick ass park."

"With what?! The Worship-O-Whirl. Or maybe a Preach-areoke Contest?

Hidan was getting mad, and tried to turn into his grim reaper self, but nothing happened.

"This body sucks."

* * *

Tobi ran into Sasori's room, where Deidara also was. 

"Senpai! Something terri-Hahaha," Tobi started but then stopped, seeing Deidara's and Sasori's new body.

Sasori was still a complete puppet, but instead of a male puppet body, it was that of a females. His hair was red and long with two bangs. (Haku's hairstyle).

Deidara's was not changed so much. (Since he already looked like a girl. XD) Mostly had a women's body with the same size breasts as Zetsu. His camera eye was replaced with a matching blue eye. He also still had his bloodline limit.

"What are you laughing about? At least we're not cut in half!" Sasori yelled, trying to get a puppet to move, but unable to use his Puppet Control technique.

"On the contrary."

Tobi removed his mask and robe, showing a whole face and body. He had two, black eyes and long black hair. (As long as Kin's.) His body was same as Itachi's, and also couldn't use his Sharingan.

"Plus, I still have these."

He pulled out his goggles and put them on. Sasori and Deidara were shocked at Tobi's transformation.

"We-well, we can't stay here too long." Deidara said.

"Why not?"

"Because Leader is putting together an army of sexy girls to do his bidding and to help complete our goals."

Sasori went wide-eyed, "And they're dressed in nothing but bikinis or Victoria Secrets bra and panties, even during the winter."

Deidara was lucky to still have his clay making ability. He made many birds and told them to deliver a message to everyone, to meet outside the hideout in the tea shop in the local village.

* * *

In 'The Leader's' room, he started to awake. 

"Hmm…"

He was the only one who wasn't changed into a girl.

"What's this? My sexy girl-dar is going wild. Oh yeah, that's right."

He clapped twice and many sexy girls came out of his closet, from under his bed, and other places. They picked him up, stripped him, and gave him his morning sponge bath.

"Ahh. Great to be the leader." He said as sexy, naked girls massaged his shoulders and cleaned him like a pampered child.


	3. Wild Party!

**Haha! Another chapter of wildness and craziness. Enjoy another crazy chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

.:At the Teashop:.

Itachi walked into the teashop, wearing an old looking cloak instead of his Akatsuki one to hide his appearance. He took a seat and waited for the other members.

"You need anything, sweetcheeks?" A waiter asked.

Bad move. Itachi had a kunai to the waiters throat in 2 seconds. The waiter started to sweat like crazy.

"Never…EVER…call me sweetcheeks." He said, as monotone as ever. Then the knife cut through his larynx, killing him. Suddenly, a very high squeal was heard.

"EEEEEEEE! FOOD," yelled a very happy, girl looking Zetsu. He walked in with Kisame. (The other freak of nature.)

"acho Someone is talking about me…," Kisame said, wiping his nose. Zetsu began to eat the corpse. Luckily, noone was in the teashop except for the owner, so only he was disgusted.

A bird landed in front of the shop, then it blew up 90 feet away from the shop so it wouldn't be destroyed. Soon after: Sasori, Deidara, and Tobi walked in, also looking like girls.

"At least it was all of us." Said Sasori.

"Wait, what about leader?" Tobi asked.

"Good question, yeah."

Their conversation was interrupted by two girls arguing at each other.

"I told you, my religion doesn't turn people into the opposite sex!"

"How do I know that? In my bounty hunting trips, I've seen many fucked up religions."

"My religion is not 'fucked up.' We just believe in violent practices."

"And cutting off yo-"

"No, we do not do that!"

Itachi was getting irritated by this argument and threw the kunai between Hidan's and Kakuzu's face, stabbing into and staying on the wall. Hidan and Kakuzu immediately shut up.

"That's better. Now, let's try and figure some things out."

"Like what Itachi-san?" Tobi chimed in.

"Like how we got this way. What we need to do to turn back into males. And things we must do while we are in this state." Itachi said.

"Well first," Deidara started, "I think we need different names, yeah."

"Yeah. We can't go around calling each other our old names." Zetsu's good side said. Then the bad side took control. "People would look at us like we're messed up in the head." (How ironic. Zetsu already is. XD)

"Acho Someone's talking about me, too."

Everyone else agreed and they soon began the name thinking.

"Well, it should have some relation to our old ones."

* * *

.:30 minutes later:.

"My new name is 'Edira.' That's my name with some letters mixed around. Now your turn, everyone."

Soon after, a list was made of their new names.

Itachi – Ipacha

Kisame – Emasik

Sasori – Sorisa

Deidara – Edira

Hidan – Lidan

Kakuzu – Mizaku

Zetsu – Zatsi

Tobi – Obita

"That's our new names, yeah. Everyone happy with them?"

They all nodded. Then, Leader walked in and the gang looked quickly, then back.

"Christ! He's still a guy, un."

"Looks it." Itachi whispered.

* * *

Leader went to the stools and the owner made some handseals.

"Party Style: Night Club Jutsu."

Soon, the shop went through a major make over from a teashop, into a nightclub. Laser lights and lights of many colors sprang out of nowhere, the wooden bar table was replaced with a red and black metal table. All the tables now had a chromed, metal pole shooting out of it's center.

"Now for the finishing touch." Leader said, as he clapped his hand two times.

Girls in bikinis and Victoria Secrets undergarments soon came out from under the bar and other places. Even from the bathroom, for the were so sexily skinny, they are somehow able to fit through the pipeline of the bar.

"What do you give those girls?" the owner said, suddenly turning from Japanese into a Mexican bar owner.

"Nothing my friend. Now, get me some tequila, please." Leader said as the girls got up on poles or readied serving trays for the men now walking in.

"With or without a worm?"

"With a worm, amigo!" Leader yelled in a party kind of way.

Soon, the place was loud with guys whistling at girls, drinks being served, and loud music that has some kind of sexual reference in it's lyrics.

* * *

The group of eight just sat there, wide eyed, as all this went on. They then crept out of the place before anyone noticed them…except for Tobi, Kakuzu, and Zetsu.

Kakuzu saw how the girls were getting money from dancing, so he joined them as he found a G-string and a lacy bra hanging on a wall. He put it on and soon enough, guys were throwing him a lot of money to dance.

(Wow, this is as much money as I make on my bounty trips.) he thought as he watched the other dancers for ideas on what to do.

Tobi was getting drunk off of a tequila, vodka, Budweiser, and Captain Morgan rum mix. He looked at Zetsu, who was getting a camera ready.

"What…you going…do wit that?" Tobi asked, extremely drunk.

"I'm going to take some pictures and blackmail Leader later when I try to ask him for a raise.

Soon, Zetsu was taking pictures of Leader dancing with three of the girls, Leader drinking with the girls, and other ridiculous things.

* * *

.:Outside the bar:.

"Where are they?" Kisame asked, irritated.

"They probably got caught by Leader." Itachi said.

* * *

.:1 hour later:.

"HOLY SHIT! Tobi, Kakuzu, you guys look like crap!" Sasori yelled.

Tobi was leaning on Zetsu, too drunk to stand upright. Kakuzu was still in the bikini, but with his clothes above it except for the head wrap/headband thing. His hair was messed up, and he too was walking alittle funny because of a pulled muscle.

"Well, Tobi here is drunk as hell. And Kakuzu fell off the pole while trying to swing around on the pole." Zetsu said, watching Kakuzu count his money.

"Money money this. Money money that. Profits making my G-string fat. Teehee." Kakuzu sang happily.

Deidara looked at Tobi with an angry face.

"You drunken idiot! What do you think you were doing, un?"

"I was…just huvinnng a- blarg," Tobi then began to throw up from drinking.

"Dear god! Zetsu, what the hell did this poor guy drink?" Sasori asked.

"It's called a Cinco de Mayo Victory Drink. It has tequila, vodka, Budweiser, Captain Morgan, and some other things in it." Zetsu replied.

"Well, anyway…while you assholes were partying, Deidara has been making a clay bird big enough to carry us all." Itachi said, slightly more angered, but still monotoned.

* * *

.:In the sky:.

"Where now, un?"

"I know a place." Tobi said. "It's a log cabin, but it's the size of a mansion. We can stay there."

"Sweet." Zetsu said. Zetsu loved to stay in log cabins; especially Tobi's since he always have cabins that are sometimes as big as a four-story building.

* * *

**Itachi: Hello, I'm Itachi. As you know, I'm now much sexier than Sasuke. But aside from that, the author is busy partying with Leader, so-**

**Kisame: Good-bye! Look foward to the next chapter.**

**Itachi: Kisame...**

**Kisame: Y-yes...**

**Baseball bat whack noise**

**Itachi: Baka shark...**

**Trunk closing noises**

**Me and Leader: TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!**


	4. Lies, singing, and no underwear! Whooo!

**Kakuzu: Hi everyone. Sorry if his update took abit, but he was sick for awhile from to much partying with Leader. Right?**

**Me: shiver shiver Yeah...**

**Hidan: So anyway, here's the next chapter... Oh, and He doesn't own Naruto or the songs used.**

* * *

.:Tobi's Log Cabin:.

Deidara's clay bird landed where Tobi told it to. The whole gang stared in awe at the colossal log cabin…well, log mansion…and is three stories tall. Everyone except Tobi, who owns it, and Zetsu, who stayed with Tobi a few times while on a mission.

"We can stay here until we figure out a way to turn ourselves back." Tobi said, happily. "It hasn't been used for awhile though."

"How long of a while?" Itachi asked.

"In 3 months."

The gang shrugged and entered the mansion. Inside, it was very spacious, but dusty. There were TV's in every room, 6 bathrooms, 3 kitchens, and other junk.

"Finally, I can change out of this!" Kakuzu said, referring to the G-string and lacy bra. Hidan took notice and looked at him(her?)

"Kakuzu…where did you get that?"

Kakuzu started to sweat abit as he tried to lie. "Uumm…there was a…Woman's Underwear Dispenser in…uh…the bathroom."

Hidan raised a brow. "Really?"

"Yeah. There were also bikinis, collars, and animal ears." He said, adding onto the lie. "Right, Tobi?"

Tobi, almost completely better, "Hunh? What?"

"See, he said yes. Now lets go inside." Kakuzu said as he rushed into the bathroom so Hidan wouldn't pester him anymore…at least until another religion argument.

* * *

Itachi looked in the fridge to find something to eat with Zetsu and Deidara.

"Expired…expired…." Itachi said as he looked around at all the old food. Suddenly, a glob of mold flew from the food and landed on the floor. It shaped itself into a human shape, 3 inches tall.

"You bitch! How dare you disturb my slumber! Now I'm gon-" the mold man was cut off when Zetsu picked it up. "Put me down you freaky plant!"

Zetsu didn't say anything as he threw the mold man into the burning fireplace. The fire suddenly grew green and stayed that way for a few hours.

* * *

.:Meanwhile:.

Hidan, Tobi, and Kisame were watching the T.V., looking for something to watch. Soon, they settled for Ninja Idol.

"Hello, and welcome to the semi-finals Ninja Idol. I'm your host, Kakashi Hatake. And today judges are: Gaara,"

"I'll kill you if you suck…"

"Tsunade,"

The camera moved towards Tsunade, but showed only her large boobs.

"Hey, camera guy. My eyes are up here." She said, pointing to her eyes as the camera moved up.

"and last but not least, Sai."

The crowd 'booed' Sai as his face was shown. Sai ignored it and just waved.

"Well, first up is Sasuke!"

As Sasuke walked out on stage, many Sasuke fangirls squealed. He picked up the mic as music began to play.

* * *

"I'm an emo kid

Non-conformist as can be

You'd be non-conformist if you looked just like me

I have paint on my-"

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" Tsunade yelled. "That was horrible!"

"Agreed."

"I kill you now!" Gaara said as Sasuke was swept away by a Desert Avalanche.

"Okay…well our next performer is Kin! We brought her back to life just for this. After this, she's dead unless she advances. Kin, take it away."

Kin walked out and some holiday music began to play.

* * *

"City sidewalks, busy sidewalks  
Dressed in holiday style  
In the air there's a feeling like Christmas  
Children laughing, people passing  
Meeting smile after smile  
And on every street corner you hear

Silver bells, silver bells  
It's Christmas time in the city  
Ring-a-ling, hear them ring  
Soon it will be Christmas day

Strings of street lights  
Even stop lights  
Blink a bright red and green  
As the shoppers rush home with their treasures  
Hear the snow crunch  
See the kids bunch  
This is Santa's big scene  
And above all the bustle you hear

Silver bells, silver bells  
It's Christmas time in the city  
Ring-a-ling, hear them ring  
Soon it will be Christmas day."

When Kin finished, some of the audience members cried. Gaara was having one of his migraines from the song, being too joyful.

"That was beautiful." Tsunade said.

"Yes, but it lacked penis." Sai said.

"What d'ya expect? I'm a girl!" Kin said, slightly irritated. Sai just shut himself up.

Gaara was sent to the hospital, so now a new judge had to fill in for him. That new judge was…Gai-sensei!

"Let these next songs be youthful!"

"Whatever Gai. Now, our last performer is a duet of Leader and one of his sexy girls. Hehe." Kakashi, his masking hiding a grin.

Dance music started to play as only the girl walked out. She was wearing a sexy bikini and some men whistled as she walked out.

* * *

Girl: Turn me on turn me on

Just do it right

you can't go wrong

I'm the radio that plays your favourite song

You turn me on turn me on

You sure know how

so turn me on

Baby don't you wait until the night has gone

Just turn me on

Turn me on oh babe turn me on please

Ooh turn me on aaah aaah turn me on.

Leader then teleported from back stage in only boxers and a tank-top.

Leader: You are so cool - don't know what to do

Oh babe I can't come close to you

I want you to just feel good

Hey can't you see I'm in the mood

Want you touchin' mine

I'm just waiting for a sign

I wanna makes you feel so hot

I wanna find your tender spot

Gai started to have a nosebleed from hearing the songs, Tsunade was freaked out, and Sai was joining the men in taking pictures of the girl. Soon Leader and the girl started to dance together in a erotic way. This made Gai's nose turn into a waterfall of blood. Tsunade started to twtch violently. And Sai stop taking pictures and started to tape the two with his cell-phone.

Girl: Turn me on turn me on

Just do it right

you can't go wrong

I'm the radio that plays your favourite song

You turn me on turn me on

You sure know how

so turn me on

Baby don't you wait until the night has gone

Just turn me on

Turn me on oh babe turn me on please

Ooh turn me on

Turn me on oh babe turn me on please

Ooh turn me on aaah aaah turn me on

aaah aaah turn me on.

Afterwards, all the female audience members left, including Tsunade. All the men stayed as they clapped to hard, it was heard here in where our group of gender changed Akatsuki members are.

"That was better than youthful!"

Tsunade, not being here, meant she didn't like it.

"That performance had A LOT of penis!" Sai yelled, not knowing he made himself look like a total homo on national T.V.

Kakashi, putting his camera away, said, "Well, that's all for tonight. Text to who you want to vote off. Remember, one is going home, so only one text."

The show ended as Kisame changed the channel.

* * *

.:With the TV viewers:.

"That shit was messed up!" yelled Kisame.

"What is?" Itachi yelled from the kitchen.

"Leader just sang a very dirty song while having 'fun' with his singing partner." Tobi said.

Hidan fell asleep from Kin's song, so he missed it. "You look well." Zetsu said as Kakuzu walked from the bathroom.

"Yeah, there wasn't any underwear in my size, though. So, I'll just be free-balling until we go shopping." Kakuzu said in a proud way.

Everyone fell and were upside down with a sweat drop going down themselves, except for Hidan who was still sleeping. Kakuzu didn't mind as he walked off into one of the 12 bedrooms, turning in for the night. Everyone else were still in that position until next morning.

* * *

**Itachi: Put some underwear on! Your ass-crack is showing.**

**Me and Leader: Oh, the wonders of nature. A deep valley between two hills.**

**Kisame: Oh no. He just got better and now he's at it again!**


	5. The Mall of Hell!

**Tobi: Kyaaa! Soooo many people like us!**

**Deaidara: Well, duh. Were the Akatsuki. The most evil, badass, and sexy organization ever!**

**Sasori: He ment the story.**

**Deidara: Oh...well. The author does not own Naruto.**

* * *

As Kakuzu walked down, everyone had a sore back from sleeping on the ground…except Hidan who slept in an armchair. 

"Okay, we need new clothes. We can't go around in our regular clothes."

"For once Kisame, you said something smart." Itachi said, monotone as ever. Kisame's eyes lit up.

"Does that mean I can go to Sea World?"

"…No…."

Kisame went from kawaii happy, to chibi sad.

"I think Deidara should go." Tobi said.

"Why me, un?!"

"Because you looked like a girl to begin with." Zetsu said, causing everyone to laugh except Deidara. "Itachi should go, too."

"…Why me? You know shopping lacks hatred."

"I didn't. But the real reason is because of those Women's Weekly magazines you read." Zetsu said as he took out a '5th Anniversary Edition.'

"I only read that for my nail polishes!"

"Imagine all the fangirls you'll lose if this got out."

"Stupid blackmailing plant."

* * *

.:The Mall:. 

Things started out bad. Before they even walked in, two guys whistled at Itachi and Deidara. That added a +2 to today's death toll. Then when they got to the store, there was a big sale in a clothes store.

"…"

"…un?"

They watched as women inside beat each other up for shirts, pants, and other things that seemed trivial to fight about. As they walked off, they could faintly hear the jaguar noises made by the fighting women.

"Here's a store, yeah."

"But it's closed..."

Deidara then made a tiny clay spider that blew the lock off, allowing them to lift the metal, barred wall up. Inside, lots of clothes…FOR FREE!

* * *

.:1 hour of stealing later:.

"Finally, we have everything…"

They started to walk out when Itachi bumped into a girl.

"Hey, watch where you're going!"

"Do you even know who I am?" Itachi said, "I am Uchiha Itachi."

This caused the girl to laugh. "Ha, another crazy fangirl? I know more than you ever will!"

Deidara just shrugged and went to the food court, extorting the cashier for a free Soda. Oh, did I mention that when the Akatsuki extort, they kill the person? So that's 3 deaths...plus, Deidara killed the 20 people ahead of him. Anyway, when Deidara returned, the girl was asking questions only Itachi would know.

"Does Itachi were purple nail polish?"

"No, I wear violet."

"Wrong, it was purple."

"Stupid girl! Violet and purple are the same."

Deidara was getting fed up with up this. He dragged Itachi away from her and blew her up, too.

"Ah, great day to be Death!" the grim reaper said, drinking some coffee as he saw the four deaths take place.

"Wow mister! You're ugly!" Konohamaru yelled at him. The next thing that happened…it went to 25 deaths after Death poked his forehead, killing him instantly.

* * *

.:Back with the others:. 

Itachi and Deidara returned with four bags of clothes. They handed out each members clothes until Zetsu came.

"Here you go Zetsu." Deidara said, in a sort of way you know something's wrong. When Zetsu put it on, it blew up. It stunned Zetsu and left him with third degree burns. "Here's you're real clothes, prick." Deidara said as he just threw Zetsu's clothes on him, still mad at the joke made by him earlier.

* * *

.:Where ever Leader is:. 

"This is bad! Were lost!" some girls said at the same time. They were at a hot spring and got lost in it's hallways. Though, the hallway was only a straight one with the room doors on the side. "We'll never see Leader again!"

Leader was in the spring, waiting for his bath partners. "Damn…should've given them a proper edumacation instead of one based off of striping and dancing." Leader said. "Heh. I was a gewd col-uh. Coledge? Coolage…dammit, how is that pronounced?" Turns out, Leader was too busy peeking at girls with Jiraiya instead of being at the ninja academy.

* * *

.:Back with the other people:. 

After changing into their new clothes, they felt somewhat better. But because of limited stock at the closed store, they all were wearing pink T-shirts and either jean skirts or knee high khakis.

"Pink…I hate pink…."

"Don't worry about it, we'll steal more clothes from the people who wander around here." Tobi stated, knowing that people come here when they are lost. So when summer comes, which was in one week, a bunch of hikers may become lost.

"Glad to see you not dressed as a slut." Sasori said, seeing Kakuzu pout abit from having to wear under wear.

"But I liked not wearing under wear. Nothing was giving me a wedgie." Kakuzu whined, pulling out one as he spoke.

"That's because you have a fat ass." Hidan said, feeling like tormenting him abit.

"Yeah. Well…well……your religion sucks!" he whined as he locked himself in his room to cry a river.

* * *

.:Back at the hot springs:. 

"Finally, after 6 hours of searching we found it!" the girls said, finally finding the right door. "Eeeeekk! Lobsterman!"

There was Leader, who waited so long, his entire body was red from the heat of the water.

* * *

**Me: Poor Leader.**

**Sexy Girls: Waaaah! Leader-sama!**

**Leader: Can't...move... Hurts...too much.**

**Me: Hehe. Poke.**

**Leader: (screams in agonizing pain)**

**Me: Kukuku. Cool.**


	6. Oro's Show of Hell!

**Itachi: Boy sure has been awhile. I don't see the point of going to school. **

**Me: Because I need a good edumacation for the future.**

**Itachi: And I see they're teaching you well.**

**Me: Yeppers! Anyways, I don't own Naruto, D&D, Jerry Springer, or the Discovery Health channel.**

* * *

It was another day at the cabin. Deidara and Tobi were watching T.V. at 5:00 a.m. Everyone else was still sleeping. A show came on that caught their interest, the Orochimaru Springer Show. 

.:On Set:.

* * *

The show is actually the Jerry Springer Show taken over by Orochimaru since he couldn't take over Leaf Village. Kimimaro, Ukon, and Jirobo were the body guards. Kidomaru was a camera guy. Tayuya was someone who always came to the show and in the audience, getting Oro Beads everytime she comes. She's gotten so many, they decided to stop censoring her when she lifts her top. This, of course, also made Leader sit in the audience and somehow got tickets right next to her. 

"Alright, you pathetic worms," Orochimaru yells. "Today, we're going to torture the Ruler of the Hidden Mist Village with his greatest fear. YAOI!!!" The chair that the ruler sat in suddenly clamped down on his wrists, ankles, and neck. Jirobo taped the ruler's eyes open, making have to see every moment.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!"

Orochimaru made some handseals. "Impure World Resurrection!" And using Dosu and Zaku as sacrifices, Orochimaru brought back…Haku and Zabuza.

"Zabuza-san!"

"Haku!"

They both glomped each other at the same time. They then stared at each other in the eyes for a few minutes, cherry blossom petals falling in the background. Then, they started to make-out so passionately, all the women started yelling loudly, "OH MY GOD! SO CUUUUUTE!"

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" the ruler yelled as Haku and Zabuza got more into it by disrobing. The women then had nosebleeds as they then made-out while rolling ontop one-another on the stage. Kimimaro fell asleep, seeing this happen between Orochimaru and Kabuto before.

.:Kimi's flashback:.

* * *

"What's my name bitch!?" 

"Master Orochimaruuuuu!"

Kimiamro was there with a video camera, but he didn't want to be there. The only reason why he was there was because he was afraid of the evil monkey in his closet.

"Kimi, make sure you get all this. This may win me some money on Kages Gone Wild."

.: Back at OSS:.

* * *

Jirobo ate some chips he stole from Chouji…again. Ukon went back stage to a dungeon.

* * *

.:Dungeon:. 

Ukon started to disrobe and put something else on as he neared.

"You ladies ready?" Ukon said from afar.

"Yes. We are."

"Well, my staff has been itching for some action."

"Then let's get started, Mr. Magic."

The sound of dice being rolled was heard.

"Alright+50 Magic Bonus!"

The dungeon they were in had a table with D&D (Dungeons and Dragons) with two other girls there. Ukon was in a mage outfit. One girl was a knight, and the other was an elf.

(A/N: Hah. Thought he was going to get some, didn't you. ;3)

* * *

.:OSS:. 

Zabuza and Haku were now…erm…how to say this…'acting like dogs.' The ruler's eye exploded and Tayuya was topless with Oro Beads around her neck. Leader went to touch Tayuya, but was denied when Sakon started to chase him out of the show.

.:Back at the cabin:.

"Oh dear god. I never knew they were gay!" Deidara said, being the slowest to know of the popular couples.

"I think I know how to change us back!"

"Oh really? That's nice." Deidara looked back to the yaoi action on stage. "Wow, they must be the most 'into it' couple I have ever seen…."

* * *

.:At 12:00 p.m.:. 

Everyone was downstairs except for Kakuzu.

"Dammit. He must be 'exploring himself' again, yeah."

Hidan then walked up to his room.

.:Kakuzu's Room:.

"Kakuzu, time to get out."

"But I'm learning about the female human body!"

"The breasts contain the most fat in the body. I don't know how much because I'm a paid narrator, and I also don't give a flying fuck about it. All I know is, there is so much, that it makes horny pervs like me want to touch them. Hehe."

"Kakuzu, the Discovery Health Channel is bad for you. Now get downstairs!"

* * *

.:Dinning Room:. 

"Okay Tobi, what's your idea?" Sasori asked, getting ready to kill someone if it was bad since he was now having PMS.

"We can talk to Orochimaru to bring back that girl who did this to us."

"Of course. Why didn't I think of that, un?"

"Cause you're a complete bastard and we all hate you!"

Deidara then cried in a corner from Sasori's comment.

"But only one problem. Oro won't do anything for us unless we do one thing."

"What?"

"Bring him my idiot, emo brother."

* * *

**Orochimaru: Kyaa! I'm going to have my Sasuke-kun!**

**Kisame: Ew...your a sick pedo.**

**Leader: Here, have some of my women.**

**Orochimaru: GAAHH!!! The boobs! The G-Strings! And their weird giggles! It burns my soul!**

**Me: Sorry to everyone who likes/loves this if this update took so long. It might also be another while until the next one is up because schools a real pain in the ass.**

**Itachi: Then don't go.**

**Me: If I don't go, I'll become a complete dumbass. Like your brother.**

**Sasuke: This knife hurts my wrist. I wonder why...**

**Me: See. But again, sorry for the delay, and I'll try to get the next one up ASAP.**


	7. Sasuke Caught! My Stomach Does A Flip!

**Me: Jesus christ! I hate school! Stupid Finals and homework and other bullshit.**

**Kakuzu: We've been telling you. Don't go.**

**Me: And end up a pole lover like you. Yeah right. Anways, I don't own Naruto, or any other thing I use in here.**

**Itachi: Like the guns and the KakaxIruka pairing?**

**Me: Yes. Oh, and Yaoi warning for this chapter. Not much, but it's there.**

* * *

.:In the air:. 

"Damn!"

"What's wrong?"

"This clay bird is giving me a wedgie! That's what!"

"Kisame, stop your bitching. We only have ten more minutes until we get to Konoha."

The group had set off to get one emo, but extremely rapist, Sasuke to give to Orochimaru for a plan to turn them back to men. But when they got to the village it was horrible.

* * *

.:Konoha:. 

"What the fuck! We've been looking here for half and hour, and no signs of boobies!" Tobi yelled.

"Tobi, did Deidara's bird give you a flask of vodka…again?"

"Yes, it did Zetsu-san," Tobi reached into his clothes and pulled out a flask from his shirt. "Want some?"

"Boobies! WHERE!"

Everyone looked around, but saw noone in sight. Itachi, however, was scared out of his mind. "No. NO! It's him!" Itachi yelled, pointing to a smoke cloud in the distance. Everyone squinted, and in a few seconds, started running. Sasuke was running at them with flames of lust in his eyes and a chain…with a pair of Rock Lee spandex to 'show off.'

"For the clan!"

The group soon made a turn to hide in a ditch close by, except Kakuzu who ended up turning the opposite way and ended up in a dead end.

* * *

.:In the ditch:. 

"Hey, a trapdoor is here." Sasori said as he opened it and went inside.

"It's dark in here. Someone turn a light on."

A meek, timid voice came out of nowhere, "O-okay."

* * *

.:Dead End:. 

"Guys, where are you?" Kakuzu said as he looked around franticly for everyone else.

"So that's where you were!" Sasuke yelled as he was about to jump on Kakuzu. But he missed by many inches and ended up hitting the brick wall. Giving Kakuzu the chance to run into a house.

.:The house:.

The house was filled with many scrolls and junk a ninja has in their house. There was also a Make-Out Tactics book laying on the ground. Kakuzu turned the corner and saw…dun dun dun… Iruka and Kakashi putting strawberries in each other's moutheses. This made him walk back and hide in a near by closet.

* * *

.:Bomb Shelter Thingy:. 

The lights turned on and every woman from Konoha were there, hiding with AK 47s all loaded and ready to fire if Sasuke came in.

"Why are you all hiding here, un?"

"Cause that horny bastard out there tried to rape us all! Even me, the leader of this village. Saying something about me being well stacked or something…."

"So…you're never coming out?"

"We will, until he goes away! To think me and Ino had a crush on him."

"I want to be with my Naruto-kun. I miss him and his fox tail."

Sakura looked at Hinata funny. "He doesn't have a tail."

"Uh-uh…the other…k-kind."

"That's it, I'm out of here. Be right back." Zetsu yelled as he took Tobi above ground, not wanting to hear anymore sex fantasies.

"I miss Neji!"

Kisame then left too.

* * *

.:Above ground:. 

Sasuke was sitting on a roof when a very intoxicated Tobi walked below. Hmm, a drunk women. She won't even know it was me who knocked her up if I can catch her. he thought as he stood up. Just as he was about to grab Tobi, Zetsu and Kisame jumped on top of him, tieing him up with ropes, chains, leather straps, a pigeon, and the left arm of the Undertaker.

"Where'd you get that arm?"

"I won it off the Undertaker…well, more like ate it off."

"Ohh. The rough kind of girls. Kinky!"

They just ignored it and picked him up. But when Sasuke got tied up, an amazing thing happened. The sun came out and so did people. They all stopped being gay and went back to being straight. The sun grew a smile and said," Thanks for catching that bastard. Now throw him in a volcano!"

"Nah, we got something better." Kisame said as he showed a picture of Oro. The sun laughed at the evil plan just from seeing the picture.

* * *

.:Closet:. 

"It's dark in here."

Kakuzu went out and saw not Kakashi and Iruka, but Kakashi and Anko. He walked out, but not before taking a picture with his Razor. He then walked out unnoticed and met up with Tobi, Kisame, and Zetsu. Soon after, The rest of the group came out from the shelter.

"So, you got him?"

"Yeah."

"To Orochimaru's Place!"

* * *

.:At Orochimaru's:. 

Oro was enjoying some herbal tea with a hint of lemon when suddenly, he got all happy. Kabuto was making mini muffins when he heard a cup smash and break. It caused his glasses to fall of his face and break on the ground.

"Everything alright?" he yelled, pouring some red Kool-aid, salt, asbestos, and rat poison into the mix blindly.

"I have a feeling something great is going to happen to me."

"Like what?" He put the red mixture of death into the oven.

"I don't know," he said, his stomach growling from the smell of the mini muffins, "But something…pleasurable."

"That's nice," Kabuto said, taking the red muffins out and giving one to Oro. Oro took a bite of The Red Mini Muffins of Death, but seemed alright.

"Wow, these are good."

"Let me have one." Jirobo demanded, eating five. His eyes then rolled into his head and just dropped dead.

"Oh well. That's one less pay check I have to worry about."

* * *

**Me: MINI MUFFINS!**

**Zetsu: What the? Matt, don't! -Restrains him from eating-**

**Me: But I'm hungery!**

**Leader: Have some milk.**

**Me: Okay! -sips milk from Leader- Hmm...alittle thick. Soy milk?**

**Leader: No, nipple milk!**

**Me: -spits milk out-**

**Itachi: I think he's going to be -noises from nearby bathroom- sick...**

**Leader: Well, that and school has been rough for him lately. So you all may not see the next chapter at least until the last day of school for him or something.**

**Kisame: Yeah, so have a good Memorial Day and honor the troops who gave their lives so you could read things like these.**

**Sasori: Yeah, bitches.**


	8. Attack of the Evil, Portable, HD TV

**Me: When we last left our her-er...villian...gender altered...you get the point. Anyway, they were at Leaf when Zetsu caught Sasuke.**

**Zetsu: I caught a Sasuke!**

**Itachi: This isn't Pokemon!**

**Me: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, time for the disclaimers! -party noises-**

**Kisame: He doesn't own-takes out a list- Naruto, any makeover shows, Katamari...**

**Hidan: X play, Pokemon The Third or Forth Movie, the Rachel Ray Show...**

**Bill Gates: any Naruto Shippuuden Episodes, QVC, the "uke" pun, or -holds up sign saying Bill Gates-**

**Sasori: SHUT UP BILL! -_Kills Bill_ and turns him into a puppet- He also doesn't own that Movie.**

* * *

"Someone shut him the hell up!" Sasori practically yelled into the air. Sasuke kept complain about how his life sucks.

"My mom left me, and my father allowed Itachi to kill him. Afterwards, the only Uchiha left was me and some guy named Dominic, who ran away like the wuss he is."

Everyone just ignored the two and kept flying towards Sound. Luckily, Deidara brought a wind/solar powered, 64" HD, portable T.V. They soon began clicking through shows until something weird happened.

"Hey, this remote is glowing, un."

"That isn't normal." Kisame said as he snatched it from Deidara.

"Maybe it's radioactive."

"Yes. It's a nuclear powered remote Tobi. How'd you know?"

"I dunno."

The remote grew brighter, and sucked Deidara, Kisame, and Tobi into the oversized T.V.

* * *

.:Makeover Show:. 

They suddenly appeared at a beach. Tobi was on a blanket, Deidara was just standing there all confused, and Kisame was chasing a dolphin in the ocean.

"How'd this happen?"

"I don't know, but this place has shrooms."

"That's lipstick, yeah."

"So that explains the cherry flavor."

Suddenly, two girls in bikinis(Not Leader style bikinis.) came up to Deidara.

"Like, oh my god! You need a make over!"

"No! STAYAWAYFROMME!"

.:15 minutes later:.

"Ugh…what the?! You made me look like a lesbian."

The only response from the girls was one of them putting a police officer-like hat on his head.

* * *

.:Real World(Not the show):. 

Sasori was looking away with a nosebleed while the others watched on.

"Hey, think we should let them out?" Itachi asked.

"No way, I have an idea." Kakuzu said as he snatched the non-glowing remote and change the channel.

.:1 hour later:.

Kakuzu has large bags of money behind him.

"You made them star in a porno!?"

"Hey, now we can buy that special Miracle Grow you always wanted."

"REALLY!?"

Kakuzu nodded as Zetsu began to jump around like a happy child who got all the candy inside a candy store and ate it all.

* * *

.:Place with a lot of mushrooms:. 

"Oh my goodness! I just went to heaven!" Tobi yelled as he jumped into and began eating a field of mushrooms.

"Well, this place su-is that…?"

"A ball with people stuck to it? Yup."

Suddenly, the sky darkened and the King of Cosmos appeared.

In it's weird talking way, it said to Deidara, "Deidara, you would be a tasty yet disturbing star."

"You stay away from me croutchy."

"Hey, I thought we were on cable."

"Maybe it's X Play, Tobi." Kisame stated.

* * *

.:Channel Changes:. 

Kisame and Deidara were standing in a large room made up of a lot of crystals.

"Where are we now?"

"Hey guys, LOOK!" Tobi yelled as he was being dragged on the ground quickly. He was holding onto to the tail on Entei.

"Oh no. We're in the third Pokemon movie."

"Is that the one with that little green midget?"

"No, that's the forth one."

"Oh."

* * *

.:Real World:. 

"I think we should let them out." Hidan said.

"No way, you're not ruining my fun!" Kakuzu yelled, with merchandise of Deidara in his/her lesbian clothes. "I'm making a lot of money off of this!"

* * *

.:Channel Changes:.

Deidara suddenly got into reality, when he saw Kisame holding Tobi back.

"What's up with him, un?"

"MUST KILL RACHEL RAY!!!!"

"Help me Deidara. He keeps claiming that the host of this show cheated on him. I think he's naturally drunk again."

.:Channel Changes:.

"What the?"

Kisame, Tobi, and Kisame ended up in a cave. Inside was the Akatsuki Tailed Beat Statue thing and the jutsu being performed on Gaara.

"Holy shit. Paradox much."

"Yeah, seriously."

.:Channel Changes:.

"And this 14 karrot gold watch is only $99.99. Buy now within the next half hour while supplies last."

"Ah damn. QVC."

"And next, is this Universal Remote. This can not only change channels, but control time and space, tacos, and get you out of the T.V. if you were sucked in."

"Tell that lady to be quiet, I'm trying to think."

.:10 minutes later:.

"I don't have an idea. You?"

"Nope, un."

"Butterflies!"

"Ah screw it, let's steal something." Kisame steals the universal remote from that lady. "Hmm. EXIT. I wonder what this does." Kisame said innocently.

"Dunno, let's see, yeah."

Kisame pressed the EXIT button and all three were out of the T.V.

* * *

.:Real World:. 

"You all okay?" Zetsu said, rubbing a special bag of Miracle Grow on himself.

"Yeah, wait. Did we land?"

"Yeah, we're at Sound now. Now to give Sasuke to Orochimaru and bring that bitch back to reverse this problem.

They all cheered except Sasuke. "Orochimaru? Is it a girl?"

Itachi just looked at him. "Yeah, she's a girl."

* * *

.:Oro's mansion:. 

They walked in while carrying Sasuke, until reaching Oro's main room.

"What do you women want? If you're pole dancers, I don't need any for my show."

"Actually, we have a request, yeah."

"What is it?"

"We want you to bring someone back to life."

"What's in it for me?" Oro asked in his snake like hissing voice. Itachi lifted Sasuke up by the left arm portion of his chains. Oro was still, then gave a fangirl like screech. "OH MY GOODNESS! MY SAS_UKE_-KUN!"

The group made a noise of disgust from hearing that.

"Okay, you got a deal."

* * *

**Oro: So Sasuke-kun, you want to wear: The kitty bells and ears? Or a buttplug?**

**Me: Take it somewhere else!**

**Oro:-grabs Sasuke and leaves-**

**Me: Jesus. Freackin' pedo.**

**All: Amen to that.**

**Me: Anyway, to my fellow readers, I have great news! I'm done taking Final Exams in my school and today was my last day at that dump. So...that means this story will get done faster! Oh, and stay tuned for the sequel I'll be doing later.**

**Itachi: Don't say anything else! I hate people who give out spoilers. Which is why I block those movie previews.**

**Tobi: That explains why I haven't seen a single Evan Almighty movie commercial.**

**Sasori: The author also doesn't own that newly released movie.**

**Me: You can shut up now Sasori. Buy anyway, until the next chapter, and Sasori don't say anything.**

**Sasori: Humph...**

**Me: Good night, and good fight!**


	9. The big finale! Enjoy the emo idiot!

**Me: Okay ladies...**

**Whole group: -growls at me-**

**Me: I mean, men. Oh, and audience reading this. It is time for a finale-**

**Whole group: YAY!**

**Me: Of my Akatsuki story of randomness.**

**Whole group: No more perverts! No more boobs! No more of Kakuzu's skanky looks!**

**Kakuzu: HEY!**

**Me: But wait. Don't fret readers. In a month or so, when I get my brain sugar high again, a sequel will come out.**

**Itachi: Oh shit.**

**Me: Don't worry, you are only minor people in it. You'll find out who are subject to it when you get to the end. -evil laugh-**

* * *

"Now, prepare you're selves!" Orochimaru started to say dramatically. "Because I will summon…" He grabs a flashlight out of nowhere and turned it on below his chin, "the DEAD! Muahahaha!" Everyone yawned or seemed unamused by it. Everyone, except for Tobi.

"AHHH! He's going to summon the zombies from House on Haunted Hill!"

"You idiot! That's Dawn of the Dead, un!"

"No it isn't, you blonde-haired cross dressing partner! It's Island of Dr. Maroe!"

"That involves animals ingrate!"

"You're one to talk Sharky!"

Soon, Kisame, Sasori, and Deidara were fighting over what movie they heard that quote from.

"Whatever with those guys." Oro said, killing an unfortunate guard who walked by. A coffin rose and he shoved the stiff in it. "Impure World Resurrection!" The coffin began to spin so fast, it looked like a cylinder instead of it's square, polygonal, sharp edges…kind of shape. It stopped and the coffin suddenly had a sombrero, a chalupa, and had a pancho drapped over it. It opened, revealing a small dog who said, "Yo quedo Tacobell." "Whoops. Accidentally reanimated the Tacobell Dog." Everyone in the group fell upside down with a sweat mark.

* * *

.:1 hour, and 30 tries later:. 

"Finally, you got her!" Zetsu yelled while still eating his Miracle Gro. "Mmm…earthy flavoring."

The coffin opened, revealing two people. One being the girl ninja who caused them this whole ordeal. The other was the fatass himself, Jirobo.

"Jirobo! What the fuck are you doing here!" Oro yelled, pointing at finger at him.

"I dunno. I was up in heaven with virgins who had a fetish for fat guys. Then all of a sudden, here I am."

"Whatever," Itachi said, looking at the girl, "Okay bitch, time to change us back."

"No, I don't wanna! And you can't make me." She finished that sentence by sticking her tongue out at them.

"We'll cook you some Hotpockets."

"…did you say, 'Hotpockets?"

"Yes, I did, un."

"HOTPOCKETS! GIMME GIMME GIMME!"

"Hold on, they take 15 minutes to cook."

"Deidara, how'd you know?" Kisame asked.

"Because, noone can resist a Hotpocket. Or this." He said while holding up some Cherry Pepto. "Afterwards, she'll get dysentery, and only my special Pepto I bought from Foodtown can cure it.

* * *

.:25 minutes later:. "Please! Gimme the Pepto!" 

"Not 'till you change us back, yeah." He said, holding the Pepto bottle high enough that she couldn't reach.

.:15 minutes later, and three shit stains later, as well as Sasuke yelling from Oro's room:.

"Okay, I give up. I'll change you back. Now please hurry before my pants become so full, they'll fill a swimming pool!"

* * *

.:Afterwards:. 

"Release!"

The mist that changed them escaped their body and went throughout different parts of the room, as if singling something out.

"Bye! Time for me to die again. Satan here I come!" she giggled, took out a gun, and shot it at her head. "OW! MY HEAD!" she yelled. The bullet completely missed her brain and just went through her head. She took three more shots, the third one finally hitting her brain.

"Wow," Itachi said, his man voice and body back. "She's more emo and idiotic than my brother." The other guys were also back to their old, male selves.

"Now let's go home without Leader worrying of groping us." Zetsu said, putting some salt and pepper into the bag of dirt.

.:Wherever Leader is:.

"Ladies please! My army is just about ready!"

"Sorry Leader," a girl said, holding bags of stripper clothes and stripper stuff, "Though your fun whether your in bed or not, your 10 weeks with us is up."

"But I can pay you more."

"Not without these." She said, holding up all his credit cards, debt cards, checkbook, social security numbers, and other vital, money filled things.

"You thieving skank!" Leader yelled while trying to catch her. But the activated her super stripper speed and ran off. "Dammit all! Now people are going to contiue with…with…"His face got ominous, "Akatsuki Yaoi."

* * *

.:2 days later at Oro mansion:. 

"Sasuke-kun.!" Oro voice called out. Though it wasn't his normal voice. It was female voice.

DUN! DUN! DUN!

* * *

**Oro: No...no...NOOOOOO!**

**Me: YES! -evil laughter-**

**Oro: But what about-**

**Me: Oh, you'll find out. It'll be abit hard for me since I'm a big fan of the Sound Village people, but it's not called a _Fan_Fiction for nothing.**

**Oro: Damn you!**

**Me: And now, my sequel begins! So please wait for awhile while I formulate ideas. -evil grin-**


End file.
